HopeK429

I debated if I was going to post this, but after a few minutes of ugly crying, ???? I realized this needed to be shared. I hope this touches you as much as it touched me .“I never intended to do bereavement sessions or end of life sessions when I picked up my camera. Most of which either never see the light of day or I never take credit for. It’s not the nature of those types of photos. Never did I imagine having the ability to photograph last moments with loved ones, last days with angel babies who were born without breath. Someone like me- a sympathy cryer and who has a very weak hold on my emotions. I have watched in helplessness as mothers grapple with their losses. With fur babies getting their last pup cups or lake days. With great great grandmas sitting happily with loved ones trying to hide their tears. Every time I do a session like this, I grieve the loss with them. I think about them constantly. I cry while I edit. I do my best to comfort and love on strangers while also doing my job. Capturing the raw moments for them. The details I wished I had of my own losses. I sit completely open to experience these moments with them. I don’t know how to shut my feelings down or compartmentalize when I’m there. And if I did I don’t know that I would choose to turn it off. So instead, I feel everything with them. This week I took family photos of a Brave woman fighting cancer and her 2 daughters,, This was so hard and so rewarding at the same time is the only way I can put this experience into words..Doing End of life sessions well they have changed my brain chemistry- and this session was no different. She’s going to fight to be here for as long as she can for her girls. For this session I made sure she got the full experience. I did her makeup and had her give us a fashion show with the client closet. Her girls decorated her hair in sweet little flowers and we just spent time outside. In between shots and poses I caught her really taking everything in. So many times she would close her eyes and breathe deeply, comment on how beautiful it was out there and just appreciate the things we all forget to notice. At the end of the session the girls wandered off for a bit to pick some flowers to keep in memory of the session- while I sat with her and helped her record some videos for her daughters- on the off chance that she won’t make it to their weddings. She thanked me for crying with her. She thanked me for the experience and for making her feel pretty. She told me to live gently. To be gentle to myself, that she was so hard on herself was her greatest regret. To not wait until someone has a cancer diagnosis to tell them all the wonderful things you think about them or the positive way they’ve impacted your life. And if you want to do something, to accomplish something, DO IT.
So go back to school.
Apply for the job.
Quit the job.
Take the trip.
TAKE THE DANG PICTURES.
Love on your people.
Buy the dress.
Wear the shorts.
Take the time off.
Start the journey.
Leave your toxic situation.
I couldn't utter the words that I had once been in her shoes, this was her time to shine and nothing in my life was going to be in the way of such a beautiful day , so we carried on and it was beyond words of beautiful and heart warming to watch these 3. so Folks....
Here is your sign you’ve been waiting for. As someone in remission from cancer this really hits home, and is why I want to capture every single moment with my 2 children my family and those I love as family. I journal every single day, I have a book I write in each and every single day for them to read when I've left this earth and gone home, it teaches you NEVER take a day for granted, never make promises you cannot keep, and most of all never stop showing those you love just how much they're loved by you, you just can't make up for time lost in doing these things,
I'm beyond grateful to have taken these photos for this family, To be able to gift them these memories frozen in time forever. I hope she has many more opportunities for things like this as she fights her battle.